Artist's Journal

June 8/2007	I feel I have become a perfectionist with sculpture. When an artist is starting he is happy with a vague resemblance. When an experienced artist works he wants to transgress all his previous work and capture essential elements of design, emotion, expression…he never even realised it existed when he first started out, the positive effect - better art, the negative - less art. I feel more concerned with what art I do, I see the thousands of hours before me on a project and ask the question: Is it worth it? I can't think art into existence. It takes time. I wish I had more time. Luke's baptism is this Sunday. Carolyn and I brought Luke to a beautiful stream with hundreds of small waterfalls he could splash in. I have the feeling that one of the greatest gifts you can give a newborn child is showing him beautiful things. I treat Luke the same way I would a guest from another country. I show him how beautiful the world is. Sunday was the first day he swam outside, the first time he saw a river. He is gradually constructing an idea of the world; this is what I am helping him do. There are two ways people can look at life. One, that the mass of people are always under the yoke of some person/people in power that manipulates them, in fact these people can never be "free", that if they free themselves from one master, they will immediately be owned by another. That is just the nature of man. Humanity is considered vulnerable. The second way is thinking of man being free, if he decides to do something, he decides, he chooses, no one manipulates him with his consent. Humanity is represented this way as strong. When people differ from you they are always under the former condition.
May 10/2007	Luke. My days are filled with Luke, art and fixing up my Georgian Bay studio. Luke is now crawling. Every day after sculpting I take Luke for a walk down to the river in St. Jacobs, the town where I live. It is the first time I have really seen the beauty in a town I have lived in for years. When you have a baby, you want to show him everything and in turn you experience everything again. A leaf, rain, a bird, sand, everything is new to him. My art is going well but far from the pure sculpture days when I would sculpt 15 hours a day, 7 days a week. Almost 20 years I spent with that intensity interrupted only rarely with a few tragic but amazing relationships. I am the same person who lived in my small studio on Landsdown and Dupont St. in a studio that was small and dusty. I slept on a board for 4 years. I do not expect that focus or intensity anymore. If I am going to be human, I have to live like a human. My wood sculpture of German mythology is becoming one of my greatest works. I have recently only worked on it for one or two hours a week. I am not concerned about when I will finish it, although it should be this summer. I have never seen another wood sculpture as great as it is. The three skeletons at the bottom of the work, which symbolize death, have showed me where my skill level is, still hours and hours on each grouping. I love working on it despite the dust. Early these mornings, at 7:45, I am working on it and some drawings with Melissa. During the day I am sculpting a variety of work. Today, the Tree of Life sculptures. Soon, Thursday or Friday, I'll be back to the Ignatius relief sculptures. I usually work on one for 3-4 hours up to a couple days. Then switch to another, depending on how I feel. If I am tired of a piece and I continue working on it, I feel this could be reflected in the work. The sculptors I know in Asia do the opposite…they start at the feet of a sculpture and work their way up to the head. To do work like I do would be unheard of. My hand works like a conductors', one second on the face, another on a hand. I am constantly considering the whole, the essence, every detail and how it effects the feeling it produces. I recently was at the Blessing of my Pope John Paul II sculpture at the Pope John Paul II Cultural Center blessed by Arch Bishop Wuerl and the dedication of the new Church in Brooklin, Ontario which is the church for which I created the monumental trinity sculpture. Both events were epic and unforgettable. Finished the reading of Moby Dick unabridged on tape. 30 or more times now, almost enough to make me feel like my studio was a ship. Started reading War and Peace over and over again, probably every day for at least the next month, till I really know it inside and out. It is a masterwork.
March 15/2007	I just got back from Ireland. I met with the St. John the Evangelist committee. The St. John sculpture garden has been commissioned for Dublin. They want me to have it completed for August. I then went up to Castlepollard where I finally met Fr. Moore. He took me to the two churches where my sculptures were. Beautiful, especially the four pieces at St. Michaels, Castlepollard, in the center of Ireland. Fr. Moore showed me areas of Ireland that I will never forget. The beauty and history of Ireland is simply mystical. I came back from Ireland and immediately went to work on two new projects - a sculpture to memorialize 3 monks from the 12th century, and a portrait of a great Irish Poet. As I write this I am at a truck stop outside of Winsor, Ontario. I have been chosen to do their War Memorial and my hope and challenge is to do a work that will surpass the Waterloo Veterans Memorial. Does my skill improve from year to year? This will be the test. I will have to do the design for the new Irish projects at night, my days are going to be too busy sculpting. Carolyn and I started feeding Luke solid food. Luke has so much energy. He is almost turning over by himself. Dublin still has palm trees, yes, palm trees. Some people plant them I presume because they have no understanding how historically and culturally offensive they are. It doesn't matter if the Irish climate is mild enough for them, they should be removed. Palm trees are rats with leaves. Ireland is one of the world's most beautiful places. No one should change any of the cultural, visual or social elements of the nation. Ireland is perfect and any innovation could damage it irriverably. The world needs Ireland to be Irish. The universe needs Ireland to be Irish!
March 1/2007	I'm working on the St. Ignatius spiritual exercises. I'm starting the reliefs with wet clay, this makes the process go faster. As the plates dry I can put more detail into them. I just got back from Alaska. The Alaskan designs I created are perfect weavings of Christian imagery and the Alaskan nature. Alaska is all about nature, I have to put it in the Christian work!! Alaskans are very hospitable, showing me as much as they possibly could in the day I was there. I am finishing reading Moby Dick by Herman Melville this week. My next book is a history of the American Civil War, which I am looking forward to learning about. The business of having a new baby has stripped me, for the time being, of my obsession of spending every second of my waking time creating art. But I am surprised about how much extra energy I have and how productive these days have been.
Feb. 15/2007	Met Tom Monaghan in Florida, he wants me to start the 12ft. corpus for the Oratory in Ava Maria. Thank God! It will be the greatest work of mine to date. Started working on "Tree of Life" sculptures inspired by William Morris Tapestry. Finished "Luke" sculptures including a new Holy Family (see photos here)
Dec. 18/2006	Working on finishing up a room full of sculpture. Fr Sheridan's works are almost complete, I can only work two or three hours a day on them. The detail demands an intensity that is sometimes exhausting. I'm looking forward to immersing myself completely in the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. Not believing in an afterlife is comparable to someone on an airplane who believes that the flight will go on for eternity, he will request a seat, restlessly move around, spill the drinks of the people beside him trying to get comfortable in a seat that was never meant for a long journey. If women had a window in their abdomens how fewer abortions would there be. We are visual people; people are rarely described by there voice. Reading Moby Dick, War and Peace and a small book on the Civil War.
Dec. 4/2006	My son, Luke Schmalz, was born on October the 14th. Carolyn and I are totally overwhelmed with happiness. The life-enriching gift of a child has already taught me things that I never possibly imagined I would understand or feel. I am amazed. All babies are great teachers of humanity. I feel and sense how fragile and sacred humanity is. This little person is totally dependent on Carolyn and me. When one has a child one can't help thinking all people were once this fragile, helpless and small. You see everyone including yourself in a new light. In the mornings Carolyn sets sleeping Luke between us in our bed. So many new ideas for sculpture are flooding in. I am working on three masterpieces that celebrate new life. Luke is the perfect model. Only now do I feel I can sculpt an infant. This proves to me the relationship between Life and Art. The beauty of my current work re-enforces this!!
Oct. 5/2006	St. Francis almost finished. Tomorrow I start a work on our new Pope. Ireland received their sculpture of Pope Benedict, Pope John Paul, and the 2 Celtic saints. They love them. I wish I could go to the dedication. The Canadian Veteran sculpture is on a ship and should be here on October 18th. The dedication ceremony, on Nov. 5th, is going to be great. Any dedication that includes aeroplanes and a tank is all right with me. A trend in Public art is to award landscape architects the commissions. As if gardeners are sculptors. It's as if in the profession of teaching they realised humour is effective and eventually hired clowns and fired the teachers.
Sept. 29/2006	Working on the St. Francis sculpture, St. Francis with animals. Re-reading parts of Chesterton's St. Francis. He mentions Francis as the Saint who brought back nature after the purging Middle Ages, fascinating, and makes me realise the theme of St. Francis with animals isn't an inappropriate subject for a great sculpture. Here in Canada, Gays are fighting for the legal right to marry. Thought Experiment: Give the Gays every right that married people have but call it "Homarriage". Marriage remaining defined as a union between a man and a woman. Homarriage being a union between man and man, woman and woman. This should leave the heterosexuals content that their marriage as now defined is not altered. Gays should be happy to get the same legal rights as heterosexuals. Instead of fighting over words and terms why not invent? If Gays are not satisfied with this solution it could be argued that their not interested in rights and equality but instead the destruction of distinctions. Creating clay sculptures is like playing chess with an old friend…if you want to take the move over, he'll let you and if he sees a better move he'll mention it. Wood sculpture is like tournament chess. If you make a bad move you can't take it over again. Stone sculpture is like playing chess with someone who cheats. My studio was vandalized again, thanks to our hip-hop culture. A couple nights ago their was a Women's "Take Back The Night" march in Kitchener. They should have a "Take Back The Children Night" and they wouldn't have to take back the night.
Sept. 14/2006	Just got home from my 911 Monument dedication in Kingston, N.Y. The sculpture of the 4 fire fighters will be permanently carrying the first victom, Fr. Judge for everyone who enters the city. Last night I was at the Four Seasons Opera House, Toronto, for the performance of The Ring. It was wonderful to see people holding the small photographs of my Ring sculpture, thanks to Mr. Caron and the Opera centre for promoting this work. The 3-ton clay sculpture is still not finished in my studio. It has now become officially a part of the K.W. Octoberfest. On Oct. 8th, 9 AM to 10 PM my studio on 283 Duke West, Kitchener, will be open to the public while I put the finishing detail on the work. The Whatsoever You Do at St. Andrews Presbyterian, on Wellington St. downtown, Ottawa, is creating a sensation with people resting 1 & 2 dollar coins beside this bronze beggar. The Ottawa Citizen newspaper interviewed me last week. The London Times also did a news story on my Last Supper recently installed at St. Christopher Church in Indianapolis, Indiana. There has been so many news stories on this work, I think I really touched on a real visual symbol. The 12 empty seats are an invitation/challenge open to a lot of interpretations. Working on St. Ignatius 10 ft. work and a new St. Francis these past weeks.
August 30/2006	In order to kill a ghost, one needs a ghost sword. No steel sword will ever kill a ghost no matter how sharp or strong. There are some spiritual illnesses humanity suffers from that no physical remedies will heal, no doctor, no food, no drugs, or money etc. Because the sickness is not of a material nature, no material "things" will help. Christianity is like this ghost sword, battling spiritual illness in the world. My meeting with Tom Monaghan went great, went to Kansas City to present my portfolio, 2 weeks in Asia inspecting bronzes. Finished the Christian Soldiers Memorial Model. Working on new design for 30ft monumental sculpture for California. Started a room filled with new art, VERY BUSY!
July 18/2006	Almost finished the Monaghan models, every day refining the work. The Corpus, the most difficult project of them all, every muscle. When my model Ed breaths the muscles in his abdominal region change. The face of the Christ looks great, very intense. Just finished reading George Santayana's Reason And Art. It mentions sculpture as the greatest from of art. Reading the Songs of Roland. The Arch Bishop fighting in the battle, every century has its own interpretation of Christianity. St. Bernard of Clairvaux is still a Saint.
July 7/2006	Working non-stop on Tom Monahan's monument models. Anatomy going well. Ed is in every day. I realize I have to create 3rd scale models. Although what I am working on is huge it is impossible to get all the detail in. It is going slow but I would hate it to go fast, impossible to work fast on these models. Got a commission in Texas for a 10 ft. St. Ignatius sculpture and 30 relief wall sculptures of visualization/meditations in the spiritual exercises of the saint. When I first read the exercises when I was around the age of 22, I had the dream to create sculptures of them. Finally I have the commission. The exercises images include reflections on Hell and Sin, great material to sculpt. I am waiting for Alfred Caron from the new Opera Hall in Toronto to tell me if the hall wants the Ring sculpture for permanent installation for outside. If they do not want it I will destroy this grey giant that has taken so much of my energy and time. Alfred, a nice guy, he is anti-Catholic (I want to give him a Rene Girrard book) but he appreciates artists. If the Opera hall does not accept the work I cannot spend more time caring for it or finding a home for it. Even destroying the piece would take too much energy and could darken my mood.
June 5/2006	Great news. My meeting with Tom Monaghan was amazing. I am now working on the 2nd set of models, large ones, 6 ft - 12 ft. in size. The "Annunciation" relief is as heroic and epic as the final colossal scale will be. The crucifix model for the largest corpus in the world is going to transgress all my previous corpuses in expression and detail. Hours after hours working with the best male model I have ever seen, Ed Czuchnicki, Ed has the anatomical perfection and grace that is making the Christ figure awesome. My female model, Melissa, is coming in whenever Ed is not modeling. Melissa, so beautiful, so feminine, would make Waterhouse envious. It took me 16 years to find such great models. Tom Monaghan is a big thinker, a visionary, I am honoured to work on these models for his Avi Maria project in Florida. He inspires me. My patron Clem Cody met us in Florida for our meeting. His donation of my sculptures at Avi Maria, especially the 11 ft. "One Body", looked great on the campus grounds. Last Sunday I went to the dedication of the life size bronze "Whatsoever You Do" in Ottawa. Outside the historic Presbyterian Church, St. Andrews, the beggar sculpture on Wellington St. is now permanently installed. It will now permanently beg the passer-by's for compassion for the poor. Awesome that the piece is beside the National Bank of Canada, across from the Supreme Court of Canada and down the Street from the Peace Tower. This sculpture is the only high profile representation of Christ in the Capital City of a nation that was founded by Christianity.
May 10/2006	Since I came back from my studio in Thailand I have been working non-stop on the Tom Monaghan designs. The 11 ft. model I created for him is great but too big to bring along to our meeting. I need small 3D models I can bring with me. My designs are awesome. Almost like a mathematic problem, the large reliefs have one correct answer, design can be like that…either as correct as 7+3=10; the answer cannot be 9, 11 or 15. Their can be only one, and I have it. Tom Monaghan fascinates me, I cannot wait to meet him. Here is a man who has strong beliefs and the power to express them. So many people find the expression of big ideas offensive. Instead of Monaghan creating a Christian world landmark, they would prefer him do nothing. That would be safe. Big ideas went out of fashion after WWII. Fascism and communism (politics with ideas) showed the world how dangerous ideas can be. So in the 20th century we stopped having ideas. This is evident in philosophy, art, music, etc. After experiencing how destructive the "no idea" culture was, our culture is now, finally, waking up. Tom Monaghan is one example, Rene Girard is another.
April 20/2006	Yesterday, I finished the Canadian Veterans' Memorial. I worked non-stop till it was finished. The sculpture was the most difficult and intense work I have done to date. The work depicts hundreds of Armed Forces coming down from heaven and/or history to present an aged Veteran who in turn presents the viewer a poppy, the symbol of remembrance. The Veteran has a solemn expression that is very serious as if he is challenging future generations to remember. His outstretched hand passes a poppy to the viewer as if it was an eternal torch. The face of the Veteran shows the dignity and experience of a Soldier who is also a grandfather. The Veterans' other hand, as if sensing the spirit of his fellow brothers who have died, gently touches the hand of a soldier spirit who looks down at the old man with compassion and solemnity. Here the hand of the living touches the hand of the spirit. Physical representation is given to the mystic link our Veterans provide us to our history, the men who sacrificed and have died for our country throughout the generations. The link begins with the one Soldier resting his hand on the Veteran's shoulder and continues in no sequential linage to represent different people who have sacrificed their lives in War; WWI Soldiers, Korean War Soldiers, WWII Pilots, Sailors, Boer War Soldiers, Paratroopers, Juno Beach Soldiers, WACs, Officers, Afghanistan War Soldiers, Medics, Cavalry Corps from 1759, the Royal Canadian Volunteers from 1798, the Royal Canadian Rifle Regiment of 1860, Lower Canada Sedentary of 1813, Merchant Marines, Native Canadians, WRENS, Nurses, African Canadians and more. Although there is an obvious strong focus on WWI and WWII Soldiers, this sculpture covers all of Canadian Military heritage. All of the Canadian Military history is coming down to present their surviving brother. The sculpture grew to be a 23 ft. mosaic of Canadian Military history. Other than giving a visual priority to WWI and WWII, there is little discrimination on placement of figures. Many times the decision on who is put where was completely dependent on the design. (ie. 4 metal helmets in a row would not look good). The sculpture itself began to show me where the figures should be placed. As the artist, my job was just to make sure all got represented. I didn't want this sculpture to be about buttons and badges so there are as few as possible. Instead I wanted this sculpture to be about the soul, the faces, and the expression. The people from the K-W area helped me out by sending me 100's of photos of their family members or even themselves before they went to war, during the war and after. Real faces of real Soldiers, Sailors and Pilots, usually between the ages of 17-25, became the essential ingredient for this monument. The selection process for what faces to include and where became the most challenging part of my work. As I sculpted, I dreamt of the lives of these people. A few photos I received gave one sentence descriptions beneath the face such as, "Died 18, in the trenches of WWI". I decided I would use the portraits for emotive and physical characteristics, as I use the clay to build the form, I used the faces of actual Soldiers, Sailors and Air Force to build the personality and expression. Almost half of my time working on the sculpture was spent looking at these people. One face would be used to show dauntless courage and adventure, another to show sadness. One to show pride of victory, another to show courage overcoming fear. In the photos given to me to use I saw all emotions that one might feel in war. I felt that these men and women, more than 60 years after they served their country, are now again serving their country in providing me the essential tools to glorify their nation. I wanted to put every photo given to me in (which was impossible, the piece grew from 15ft to 23 ft in length as it was), I knew this but it still grieved me. Then I thought of stuffing the sculpture with pictures of all Canadians who ever served, died or survived for their country but then realised that this sculpture represents all of these people already and it is a time capsule…a 23 foot time capsule. They all are in the piece and their spirit is in the sculpture. I still don't understand the sculpture completely. It is not a "War is hell" monument; the Korean Soldier, the sailor, and the Juno Beach Soldier look like 19yr olds having the experience of their lives, as if the time they served and fought was their greatest moment. They certainly look confident that they were part of a victorious Armed Forces. But neither is the piece a celebration of War. The frontal figures, the WWI soldier touching the hand of the Veteran, out of hundreds of black and white photos, I chose his face to be the first, for his was the most sensitive and intelligent of them all. When I first saw his face I thought, what world would put this man into a trench? How horrible! The man beside him pushing the Veteran's wheel chair even looks younger. The photo I used for this soldier is that of Harry Delion who died in 1918 at the age of 18. Everything about him speaks of innocence and youth. He is not just looking at the Veteran or the poppy but merely gazing around as a 18 year old would probably do. The sculpture is also elusive on the issue of where these men and women were killed in the wars. Few women died in combat, few Merchant Marines as well. Some figures in this monument never saw life or death combat situations. Their willingness to sacrifice in the best role possible put them shoulder to shoulder to the figures who did die, in the trench or in the tank. Are all the figures also coming down from heaven to present the Veteran or are they coming back from history for this event of preserving their memory? Such a complex subject as the Veterans' Memorial should not be carved down to an easy to digest tablet. The fact that I , the artist find the work complex and open to many interpretations assures me that it is a great work of art. Equal to my own experience in sculpting, the Soldiers, Pilots, and Sailors determined the composition of the monument. I am waiting now for it to turn to dusk when I can photograph the monument in perfect light. Tomorrow the mould makers start making the mould. My work here is complete.
Date unknown	I am in Bangkok, spending days filled in metal, dust and heat, finishing sculptures. In two more days I will fly up North to my studio and work on the Veterans' Memorial. I will not come back till it is finished. I will not be finished till it is the best I can do. I brought with me the photos of faces of hundreds of men who fought in the wars. My work has taken on a new element. It no longer is a work that just has to look amazing, it has to honour these individuals by capturing their faces. Artistically, this will be monumental, spiritually and symbolically - even greater. Christ give me strength!!! I am in love with Thai people. Are their any people that can compare with their gentle, civilized peacefulness? My Thai friend, Somkid, again suggests it is because of Buddhism. This morning I am thinking of two ideas. As long as the west embraces "internal globalization" they will not see their faults clearly, and third world countries will always be marginalized. Families use to be the way our nations built their populations for the next generation. In the late 20th century, strong families with lots of children became rare at the same time we started importing the next generation from marginalized countries. Families and pro-life ethics will become relevant when we start being responsible. How many great Doctors, scientists, businessmen are ripped out of their own 3rd world countries by Western bribes? How more difficult it is for their cultures to raise one of these professionals? Like a glutton, instead of practicing moderation who pops diet pills, we westerners instead of re-examining traditional family ethics find it more convenient to import our next generation? When I consider that Canada imports 200 000 people a year and supports 100 000 abortions, I am certain that something is wrong with us. A cultural sickness perhaps. Our culture is not only eating us, its insatiable appetite seems to be preying on developing countries. The hope is a rebirth of our Western Christian culture, the lesson is when in a society God dies, People die. The second thought is that the problem with critics of Christianity is that usually they forget the 2000 year history it spans. A fool finds a coin at the bottom of the sea, when rising up to the surface he becomes angry when he sees that the coin is tarnished, he forgets that he found the precious object on a dark and muddy ocean floor. During the time of the Crusades, life was not held as sacred as it is today; the first Christians in the New World were confronted with human sacrifice. The early Christians in Ireland tried to limit violence to only certain days, etc. Compared to modern times, every institution and custom, etc. from 18 century and before, seems inhuman, demonic and cruel, and since most information we have today of these institutions is of European origin, we conclude that the West is inhuman, demonic and cruel. This is indeed a case where a group of people with no recorded history becomes the advantaged.
March 30/2006	I'm in Bangkok inspecting bronzes. Tomorrow I take a plane up north to my studio to start the Veterans' Memorial. I won't be back till the work is finished, I won't be finished till the sculpture is perfect. I have a library of Military books with me, hundreds of old photos of soldiers' faces. They will be my company in the studio. The thousands of pounds of clay is supposed to be ready for me, I'll only know tomorrow if it is. I now only have one purpose and that is the veterans' memorial, I can't think or do anything else. I am eating a lot here in Bangkok because up north there is no food. I'll probably lose 20 pounds. A couple days ago in the market while eating I saw an elephant walking down the busy streets. They look like huge shadows. The poor ride them and beg for food. I'm reading a little on the life of the early Canadian soldier.
March 9/2006	In the 20th century, culture has become anything that wasn't Western. Picasso knew this. Western culture grew to be omnipresent, and hence invisible, then guilt ridden. Consequently it became as Pope John Paul stated, "a culture of death". 100,000 abortions in Canada each year. More abortions in New York City each year than births. Guess which group of people are having the abortion? Can you say self inflicted genocide? Or self-hatred? When most ancestors of European/Christian culture obsessively focus on their negative history and criticize Christians while not acknowledging that Christianity provided the language and tools for this attack (which would put this negativity in perspective). Much like an insolent man that borrows a hammer from a carpenter to build a house, then after building it attacks the carpenter with the very hammer he borrowed. The re-birth of Western culture will be achieved by art. Art is most powerful. When a cartoon of Mohammed created worldwide riots, it showed the power of visual representation. If a simple cartoon could make such negative events happen around the world imagine what positive influence a spiritual masterpiece can have.
Feb. 6/2006	I just got back from Thailand were I inspected the finished "911" monuments and hundreds of other sculptures. I Brought back some amazing metal tools. I am slowly changing the way I sculpt, pushing the clay more then building and tearing away forms. I read an amazing book in Thailand, which mentioned the relationship between art and Christianity. The Moslem and Jew have no God who comes down in to the world in a material form. Their religions also do not accept physical Art of their God. The Christian on the other hand believes that God came down in the material world and Jesus invites the Apostle Thomas to touch him. This is a religion that embraces material Art. Yesterday I talked to Fr. Philip in Dublin who informed me that my Matt Talbot sculpture this week has been permanently in stalled in Downtown Dublin inside the Pro Cathedral. Thank God.
Dec. 1/2005	In the late Middle Ages artists started signing their work. Before that the art object remained unsigned, the artist respected only as a craft maker. In the 14-15th century artists began to become as revered as the ancient Greek creators. The Renaissance gave the artist popularity due to their ability to create masterpieces that influence culture. Then something strange happened, the artist began to surpass their work in attention. No longer was the art the end object, but the artist himself. Warhol, Duchamp, Pollock, twentieth century art is filled with examples. The artist then drops the idea of doing art. The only art that is done is fore his own personality. Installation art is the perfect example. The "art" is temporarily installed in a gallery for a one-month exhibition and then dissembled. These installations use every day materials, such as rusted objects, chairs, TVs etc. If this is art what am I to do? They have an advantage for while I sculpt all my waking hours, they probably only work for an hour or two a day, leaving them free time for talking, justifying, and campaigning their cause in social spheres. I will always remember being in Mexico City at a major Andy Warhol exhibition, which had all his greatest works but the feature of the show however was a glass case filled with some of his personal belongings, a personal letter, a comb, and a shirt became his central attraction.
Nov. 23/2005	Dedication of the FireFighter Monument last weekend went perfectly. Hundreds of firefighters present. Next morning the dedication of a bronze St. John the Baptist, again, perfect. The Christ the Beggar is now in Ottawa and waiting for installation. The Ring piece almost finished, one more week. Listening to opera as I sculpt, perfect, but I left a few discs in Thailand. Read Owen Lee's book on the Ring last week and talked to him in the morning, promised I would send him photos of the finished work soon. No time to read till after I'm finished the Ring.
Oct. 26/2005	What happened to me in the last seven days is unbelievable. I spent a week non-stop creating one of the most amazing sculptures I have ever designed. It was my sculpture based on the greatest Opera ever, Wagner's The Ring. I had the opera playing on a DVD player in the background. Everything came together perfectly like the opera itself, the total essence of the Ring complete in one sculpture. Wagner thought opera was the greatest of art wanted his work to be accessible to everyone but the high cost of the epic performances left his work limited to those who could purchase expensive tickets. Sculpture can be enjoyed by all who see it. If placed in a public place sculpture becomes like an opera preformed 24hours a day seven days a week. The night I became both completely satisfied and fatigued with my Ring sculpture, the night where after in a week I accomplished more than what I expected in a month, was the night the 11-foot clay sculpture collapsed. 3000 lbs of clay almost crushed me to death. For a second as the monument started its' fall I had my arms raised ready to support it but quick calculation made me realize the danger and I moved out of the way. The design is solved. I am recreating it from the beginning. I know exactly how it will look and that makes me overwhelmed with joy, nothing is really lost. Sunday some kids broke into my studio and trashed some of my other work, one completely destroyed, spray painted crap on my art and walls, the bastards even spray painted some Veterans' service metals and stole a WWII navel hat. Damaged my Veteran model. Absolutely ironic; the reason I am sculpting the Veterans' Memorial is so the younger generations will have positive role models and develop respect. The little kids spray painted crap images that were introduced to them from the popular hip-hop culture, trying to imitate pop culture role models. Our own society needs help, we have to give kids role models that don't come from the gutter. It's one of the saddest things to call up a Veteran and explain that his service metals have been vandalized.
Oct. 17/2005	Nietzsche once wrote all art is moral except for art done for art's sake which is amoral. In a society, which frowns upon Christianity, replaces distinct culture with values of diversity and attacks the leaders of countries, what is left for the artist to do but create work that literally uses garbage to make pedestals? All artwork is propaganda. Modern art is propaganda for nihilism. The first thing an artist needs to create is beliefs; once this is secured everything else becomes easy and possible. To create beauty for beauties sake will not sustain the time required to do good work. The artist also has to have the understanding that art does not only reflect culture but changes and makes it. Oscar Wilde's Essay "Decay of Lying" should be read to understand the power of art. It's the artist's responsibility to get out of the ghetto of insane eccentric Van Gogh destructions to become leaders worth following, leading people into a healthier, stronger culture.
Oct. 7/2005	Just finished working on the Veterans Memorial Model for the time being. Sculpting the clouds gave me problems so much so that I studied baroque art clouds like Bernini's Ecstasy of St. Teresa. I asked my assistant Justin (who has no background in Art) what he thought; he thought Bernini's clouds were stones. I am not the only artist that finds clay working as un-solid material difficult. The Veterans Memorial was on display at Waterloo City Hall and the Veterans Hall. The Veterans started helping me out on the details of the uniforms, the conversation soon moved to their experiences in Korea, Juno Beach and Europe. Fascinating. Everyone now knows war is hell, at least in the West, that's not what the monument is about, for the "war is hell" message has shadowed the virtues that these men revealed, the valour, courage and sacrifice, qualities we need today. If one considers that our generations are not exempt from the possibility of war, one finds the whole military experience less easy to summarize as just bad. Talking to the Veterans, one realizes the many dimensions of warfare. I was talking to one who went around all the small towns to find one recruiting agency that would take him at the age of 17. Stratford took him, he ended up on Juno Beach fighting the tenacious S.S. at the end of the war. These men are monuments. My job is to create a bronze monument for when we no longer have them. After lunch I will start again to work on the 3 Christian works St. Perigrine, St. Scolastica and Christ with many Saints. Last night worked till 12:30 at night, I'll try to do the same tonight.
Sept. 26/2005	Got back from Thailand one week ago. One week inspecting the cast of the firefighter monument, as difficult as it was to sculpt, equally difficult to cast. Every detail of the city turned out perfect. I am amazed at the skill and work ethic, which is in a piece beyond my actual sculpting. I have become a perfectionist with my work. My mood on working the piece in bronze moved from despair to ecstasy throughout the week as every casting fault was fixed. I am astounded and amazed at my own sculpture; I can spend hours looking at it, as if it dropped out of the sky like a meteorite. I am amazed at being amazed, after all it is my creation. St. Francis idea that we are instruments comes to mind. Thank God the firefighters were open to the creative evolutionary process the piece underwent from the initial sketches. After the piece was finished I left Bangkok to go up country to Councan near the borders of Laos to my new studio. One month sculpting, my assistants don't speak English cloistered in my solitude working till I am too tired even to do small detailed work. The food impossible, for days I eat nothing. At night I drink ginger beer and eat raw ginger like apples. This gave me a strange re-nourished strength to work all night. The mosquitoes constantly biting me, which also kept me awake. I would have left 3 days into it if it weren't for the amazing sculptures that were raised. It transformed the worst experience to one of the best. Thirty days saw the completion of 6 amazing works of art. On Sept. 11th I finished the monumental 911 work. If I had the time I could have wrote a book of anthropology. One can only see the West after one sees the East, and I renewed my love for European culture. Thank God for North America, the USA, Canada and Europe. If I was permanently removed from these I would find little value of life. In the morning I would listen to Dante's Divine Comedy audio books, unabridged. Awesome, especially the Purgatory and Heaven. When I have time I am going to do a body of work on angels. My assistants would get tired of English reading of Dante over and over so in the afternoon I eventually let them listen to there Thai music, very interesting oriental Mexican combined music is what it sounded like with annoying disc jockeys screaming, purring and singing along to the music. A crazy country. I get back from Bangkok, only feel sick for a few days and start the Canadian Veterans memorial. Awesome, I am working on the model, which will become one of the most amazing veterans memorials in a huge scale. It is veteran's month for me. On October the 2nd I am presenting this model to 100s of war veterans. I can't wait to meet them, talk to them, and with my sculpture, honour them.
Aug. 12/2005	Finished Christ Washing Peter's Feet sculpture. Exhausted after finishing all 3 dimensional stations. Taught apprentices Randy and Scott how to make plaster moulds of all the sculptures when I'm gone. Leaving for Thailand Studio today. Met Father Sheridan at Our Lady Of Lourdes in Waterloo to discus sculpture. Interesting talks on guilt. The idea that Catholics are aware of guilt and that is a better state then the individual who unconsiously carries the burden of undefined imperfections (unacknowledged guilt). The damage this does to life is worse than the guilt obsessed soul. Like the alcoholic who first has to admit he has a problem. Catholics will always be great patrons of the arts for a religion which encourages altruism and will always have the advantage of finding patrons willing to give away their hard earned money (which is an act of altruism of itself) to proclaim a doctrine which preaches this altruism. This is one reason Christian art dominates the history of art.
Aug. 3/2005	Yesterday I finished The Last Supper. The idea was at least one year in my head, finally had the courage to drop everything and create it. It took me three days. I attribute the speed to the time it restlessly was held in my imagination. Christ's face is perfect. Cancelled a scheduled appointment with Christ-looking 20 year old model in fear of ruining the essence of Christ, which the piece naturally developed. Watching The Ring at night, already working on amazing concepts. Still reading Wagner's Biography - amazing. The man who started that if he doesn't have an appropriate subject theme it is impossible for him to work. It is providing me with great subjects for creations. Stations basically finished. Nine days till I go to the foundry and Thailand studio to work on the large sculptures and inspect the monumental Fire Fighter Sculpture.
July 27/2005	Many times has the Catholic Church been criticized for not being fair to women. Some Catholic women feel that they know better then the Church that they are a part of, and feel it is their duty to fix or improve the Church. They criticize the Church as being unequal to women. Being an artist who does work for the Catholic Church and having high respect for this very old institution, I would like to defend the Church and present its position. The church does not limit the highest status the Catholic church has for women, I am not talking about the Priest, Cardinal or even Pope, I am thinking of Sainthood. As far as prestige, status and power (and that is the essence of the conflict, lets be honest) a saint trumps even a popular Pope. Who even remembers the Popes from the 17th century let alone Cardinals or Priests? The Saint on the other hand is remembered, revered and followed forever. Years ago, after finishing a sculpture which has more than 100 saints in it, I came to the realization that at least 50% of all saints throughout all periods of time are women. Mother Teresa, who was never even a Priest, and who soon will be made a Saint, had in her life and after, more influence than some Popes. Why not use her as a role model? Becoming a Priest takes a person that is humble. Even a man who feels it's his right and is going to fight to become a God's servant in this manner, suggests a person unfit for what must be one of the most difficult vocations possible. A Franciscan from Bethlehem once told me that the church thinks in centuries, not years. I believe that in 500 years from now there will be no women Priests but many more women saints and this is a very good thing.
July 25/2005	Monday, News today that the sculptures in Our Lady of Knock Shrine are installed in Ireland. The five over life-size pieces are finally permanently installed in the places discussed last time I was in Ireland. Thinking of doing a large epic sculptures of the Irish Martyrs that I discussed with the Irish Bishops. The piece would be so epic it would be impossible to do a drawing, even a small version would take 6 months to create. Back in Kitchener, my studio in sweltering heat but sculptures are going well. Decided to put delicate drapery on fallen Christ, looks amazing. Left Georgian Bay studio last night just when the waves started getting large. Spent the whole weekend on the Adulterous Woman Relief. Jesus and the woman are standing out while the mob is in shallow relief, inspired by Donetello's impossible relief backgrounds. The next relief I do is going to be totally low.
July 23/2005	I am at my Georgian Bay studio, I am going to be working on four more Gospel reliefs. Although the Cathedral of Saint John the Devine loved my sculpture "Whatsoever You Do" one staff member at the Cathedral thought it was amazing and when I was in New York for the meeting, the chances of having "the beggar" installed on the front steps was excellent. They totally changed their minds when they realized I do cast editions of my work including this piece. I struggled with the horrible news that because of this a very strong and direct visual message does not have its voice in this great Cathedral. The message will not be presented on the grounds that it is not the only place in the world the message is being given. Today in downtown Rome on the banks of the Tiber River people are benefiting from this sculpture hourly, people are challenged by this Christian message to see Christ in the beggar. Do they or should they think their experience is less because at the very same time someone in New York could be having the same experience? Is a beautiful girls beauty lessened because she has an identical twin? Am I wrong in thinking that the decision made by the Cathedral is against the spirit of Art and Christianity if one truely has faith in them both? Without multiple casts of sculpture Art will never reach its influence on our culture that it should have. Hollywood movies are not shown in only one theater. We cannot keep fine art ghetto-ized. Fr. Philip O'Driscal called me from Dublin. Dublin has received their sculpture of St. John the Baptist. They love it. I worked non-stop on the stations, changed two stiff looking crosses for flame-like forms, the piece came alive. I destroyed two of the stations, the only two boring ones will now be two of the best. Jesus falling and Jesus and Mary. Thank God I had the courage to totally disregard the countless hours it took me to create the two I destroyed. I'm thankful also for the patience of the people waiting for them (one year at least). One and a half weeks more they should be the best I can do. I'm looking forward to creating the European Heritage works. Reading biography on Wagner. Ernest Newman's Order of the Ring on DVD came in. Still reading J.M. Roberts history of Europe. Smoking pipe constantly. Stoped drinking any liquor but on Fridays. My studio on the cliffs of Georgian Bay is absolutely the most beautiful studio ever, the blue line of the water describes the sky in a way that makes the world, nature and man all seem colossal and infinite.
July 15/2005	Working on 3D stations of the Cross, details on Christ speaking to women station consuming most of the time. Considering little drapery on Pilote as symbol of Greco-Roman love of the male nude and humanism. Christ falls for the third time also might be nude, so much work with anatomy. Shows Christ's vulnerability. Thoughts of 3D stations being lifesize. Working all Sunday on Gospel relief plaques at Georgian Bay Studio. Hoping to finish two more before Monday. Heat in studio making it very difficult to sculpt. Slows down everything. Continued thoughts of time in Rome and supper with Fr. Bernard O'Conner, the Vatican's Ambassador to India. The bombing in London, great evidence of concern for the West expressed that evening.

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